Pathetic Post indirectly for the Ray of my lost Sun # 1

Yeah. Unfortunately, I am still alive. 

Still alive and able to feel all this pain.

It was my first time to go to the hospital and get medication because of flu. There was no special there. Well, I just tried it since my parents never brought me there whenever I am sick. I have issue in being sick 'cause my brothers got all the attention and effort and care and everything of my parents. I think that caused me to be like this, staying at home is what I mostly unlike, even the pain of outside forces kills every part of me.

That is what I have regretted. I should have not go there and let myself to heal. The fever is so high that I had the opportunity to kill myself for just staying outside at night and let the cold devour me.

As of us, there is still zero. No chance of being what we used to be. Used to be.. used to be.. used to be.  

9 days before my death monthsary. Yey! 

Gifts, anyone? Well, just grab a knife, and kill me once, for real.