My tearless crys and sighs in April

Oh, hi.

Bumping in. April was so busy and tomorrow's holiday so I got myself to write in here.

Just to summarize:
Family is okay
Church is so so
Work is so so
Acads is so so
Social is okay
Self is so so

Heyyyy, Ninang was in town this month. Ninong arrived three days earlier and that was the start of something reaaaaaally busy.

We visited Tagaytay and Cebu.

Tagaytay was so peaceful. Was able to rest during travel and was able to dip in pool with vacant lots as our view. And oh! We were able to spend time with Det. She used to be my playmate until around 15 years ago. It was supposed to be with Mumay and Nene but both got chicken pox. Poor kids.

Cebu was awesome and uber tiring. Ate Gnet, cousins' mom, was not able to come with us - sooooo I was the one responsible for those two. Ugh. One thing. It did just discouraged me more to be a mother. Lol. Super tigas ulo lang din siguro nina Mumay at Nene.

Island hopping was my favorite. Falls is the second. Whale shark watching is my least. Cebu defined half my summer this year 🌊

Had some side trips ofcors, my fav was the upside down museum. The concept was sooooo cool! Then omaygad, baked scallops everyday!! ❤️❤️

During Ninang's vacation, I stayed at her condo. Yep, there's a pool so I can dip into it whenever I want to hehehe 😁

But I got tired, sort of napabayaan ang work ohgod.

Then..

I got to spend out of town trip in Cagayan with previous workmates - Aryan, K, Les, Glenn and April! Okay, just wanted to say thanks to K and Aryan for lending some to me.

Was sort of tinatamad since I had no budget for this but I miss them and I want to have that exp with them. Ayun. So start na kwento.

Buzzer beater sa airport! Hahaha. Once I stepped on our designated waiting area, tinawag na mga passengers for our flight. Lol. Mej kinabahan ako non. Ah, before that, did you know that soooo fulfilling ng feeling kapag di mo sinunod si waze but naging 20minutes less ang travel time mo? Bwahahahhaa. Wala lang, wanna document that feeling 😂

Ohgod. Dapat talaga tuwing kinikita ko yung group of friends kong yon, nagwawarm up muna me. Bale we had three hiking during the three day vacation. Yes, one a day. God knows how much lumagpas ako sa kota ko sa steps HAHAHAHA. The thing with me and long walks is takot ako madapa so as much as possible, I don't walk. The second is ayoko ng feeling ng pawis, I sweat easy.

But after long walks were beautiful cave sceneries, breathtaking Batanes lookalike hills and ocean views, and the last one, yep, we just saw a fallen falls but super fulfilling yung thought na napuntahan ko siya. For me, during the last trekking, I realized that I can go out of my comfort zones for my loved ones. It may either make or break me but I'm willing to take the risk as long as I'm with a loved one.

And ang highlight ng Cagayan trip was our stay at Aryan's home. Guysh, super homey, cute, and super linis ng bahay nila. Wala kang mapipintas. And there are flowers!!!!

And super kyut nung magiigib kami everytime we took a bath. Ang sayaaaa. Then we had picnic with her family! Super province-y life 😊 Relaxing. I was able also to relax since walang signal hehehehehehe ykwim.

Kumota man ako sa lakad, kumota naman din ako sa sea/ocean views. Ahhhhhh ~ one of the reasons bakit gusto ko mabuhay. Baka walang beach sa langit hehehehehehe.

And shempre kumota din ako sa pagka-tan ohgod. Kumota din ako sa leaves. Buti na lang... Hahahaha.

So day after we arrived in MLA from Cagayan, rested for few hours then #InfinityWars. For that movie, speechless and butin. Then beshy kinabukasan, survey day na. Hahaha.

Additional to my work, fam responsibs, social life and other subjects' reqs.. there is this stat 251 na umuubos ng oras namin.

I was assigned under the External and Field Operations Committee (ExFO) and guysh, super demanding. Our committee was responsible in mapping the barrangay, distributing flyers, and maaaaaany moooooore. Yung dalwa lang ako naapektuhan plus I volunteered to do budget proposal.

Iba pa yung conceptual framework and questionnaire design proposals per group. Iba pa yung pilot survey where we test the questionnaire and of course the narrative for that activity. And ofcooooors, iba pa yung actual survey which happened just yesterday! All of those, during this month lang! Imagine omg. And besh, this subject tied up with the undergrad counterpart so mas hassle kumontak with groupmates and co-members sa exfo. Hahaha.

And then Monday came, last day of April. I heard some bad news. May be I'll talk about it in another entry since secret pa. But the gist of it is.. I really hate goodbyes.

There. One night, I just realized na lumipas lang April. Mapapabugtong hininga ka na lang. Yes, I was definitely happy for all the happenings during this month pero there is a part of me na bumubulong ng reasons why I should not. It whispers. And di ko marinig. Siguro napagod lang ako.

Gawa lang siguro ng two Sundays akong di nakapagsimba.  And it is already more than two months since last check up ko with psychiatrist. And there was a two week period when I didn't take my meds. And nadedepress ako sa isang subject ko. And yung thought na kasya tao sa bintana ng condo.