Lover

It's an hour and half past midnight

And I just realized the biggest puzzle

Of this heart of mine

Finally, the fear is not abstract anymore

Everything's coming together to make sense

This life of mine is created to love

Love 

A verb, not a noun

An action, not a description 

I loved so many times

I've been hurt so many times

And I never unloved anyone

There are things I learned

Through out these three decades

Of myself loving humans

Things start as soon as I see your eyes

That window to your soul

Love at first sight is true for me, at least

Love is always a choice

You don't fall in love accidentally 

Loving a person is something I decide on

However

Them falling out of love isn't in my options

I have always wondered about it

The pain is just to real

Nights of cycles of stages of grief

Sometimes, it costs me a year

For me,

Loving someone has been easy

Loving myself is not

Cutting ties overnight is difficult

I have to lose everything -- my sanity, my self

We have to wait until that last drop of love plummets 

We raise a white flag

But all I can see is darkness

We pray not to see the light again

Then the fear follows

Of not being enough

Of not being wedded to someone

Of dying alone

Never unloved anyone

From lovers to strangers 

That's a defense both for and from me

I was born to love

My heart is meant to love

This life of mine is created to love

It's already a couple of hours past midnight

Everyone's frightened by my love

But here I am, scared that I have to love again