Smiles and torture

"We don't even ask for happiness, just a little less pain."

This.

Maybe, these smiles can't even cover up half of my thoughts which are sad and painful. I hope these laughs can just help me to survive everyday without shedding a tear.

I am still loving her, yes.
I am still hoping for her to come back, yes.
I am still alive and I shall live my life the way she wanted it to be - happy even without her.

Thus, an empty and meaningless life but full of fake smiles.

Are you now happy, my dearest?