When a fraudster asked to freeze her account
It was the 28th of July when I raised a white flag sa previous work ko.
Today, marks the supposed to be 4th year anniversary with BTI.
Today, marks the supposed to be 4th year anniversary with BTI.
I can still remember when Ms Klarisse called me, her first question was "Are you willing to work in shifting schedule?" She invited me for an exam. Another day for an initial (HR) interview and Sir DJ (I waited hours for him). Another day for Sir Melvin and Luis' joint interview, then with Ma'am Sasa, then with Ma'am Sunny. Another day when we had the job offer appointment. They gave me a week to arrange my papers and requirements. August 5 2013 came, then I met the once upon a time and small Fraud team. We were only around 15 back then.
I miss them? Yes. Very much.
I promised myself to write everything here once I have my new work after that. Why? Pang move on mechanism ko. Haha. Bitter? Nope. My real friends know that I suck in moving on. Actually, kahit di friends. Obvious kasi. But this is different. It was my decision to leave. It was my first time to choose to be someone who left.
Mahirap, shempre, kasi isip ko sa mga nang-iiwan, dapat never sila magrereklamo sa desisyon na ginawa nila. I guess it partially helped me na mataas din pride ko kaya (I believe) di rin halata na sometimes, I ask myself, tama ba ginawa ko?
What are the signs na tama ginawa ko? Well, honestly, I saw none. Almost.
Imagine, I had countless of job application rejections. It won't be hard naman to imagine that I was a loser like that. BTI kase, masyado pinataas tingin ko sa sarili ko. Hay. Pero I had to tell myself everyday that, "Everything will be alright. Tama ang ginawa mo."
I guess, nasasad lang ako pag nararamdaman ko ang yung effect niya financially. Yun Lang, honestly. Hello, wag na tayo magkalokohan, BTI is a very generous company. Kung gusto niyo ng malaking sweldo, apply kayo dun.
Anyway, why did I leave Bayview? I will try my best to enumerate everything.
1. Type of industry
Yan ang sinasabi ko laging reason sa mga inapplyan ko. Hello po so mga dati kong boss. Sorry. Di ko nasabi yon sa resignation letter or sa kahit anong exit interview na ginawa sakin. Sorry Ms Klarisse, Sir Dj, Ma'am Gj and Ma'am Sunny.
That reason alone, I guess, wala nang pilitang mangyayari. Nakasakit pa ko. Disclaimer ko lagi na wala akong anything against people who are working under that industry. Kanya kanyang pananaw or trip sa buhay. Actually, tinatanong siya sa job interview ng BTI. Nagka-spark lang siya nung tinanong siya sakin. Alanganin ako that time, pero never kong naisip na may bearing pala yon. Hindi siya masyado big deal sakin until..
First sem ng 2016-2017. Since second sem ako ng previous academic year nagstart, walang orientation offered sa mga new students, so nun lang ako naka-attend. Then, we were asked to tell our names, program and affiliation. Everyone of them are working for schools or government. I was the only one affiliated with that kind of industry. And I felt ashamed. What on earth do I positively contribute to people? To the society? I heard a bell inside me. Yes, issue siya sakin nung mga huling buwan. And everytime I hear "Hindi to ang trabaho para sa atin" during the time I still work for them, wala lang. Nagkaron lang ng weight nung orientation na yon. I don't expect everyone will understand me on this.
2. The workmates, the incompetent ones.
(I think I will be harsh in this part)Napagod ako. Sa kanila.
a. Iilan lang ang nakakasunod sa simpleng instruction na ayusin ang pagfill up sa mga Excel files or SharePoint sheets. Hindi ko alam kung may kinalaman ang courses or schools nila, pero it was just a f'cking simple instruction. Di ko magets ano mahirap don.
b. Shempre hindi lang yon, their emails? Hindi ba automatic na inaayos ang wordings, ang aesthetic at ang content ng mga email bago isend? Pano ka gaganahang magbasa ng email or report kung yung mga tables, hindi maayos tignan, yung mga font iba-iba kulay - halatang copy paste from their previously sent ones, yung mga subject hindi sunod sa email subject na ini-instruct para madali malocate or mahanap. Bakit hindi nila magawa yon?
c. Unprofessional. Oh well, I am actually not the one to tell something about it kasi yung curses ko sa office malala. So, I am talking about being responsible. Aabsent kasi may hangover? Sick leave kase may lakad bigla? Waw naman.
d. Hindi dedicated. Hindi ko alam pano nila nasisikmurang sumweldo ng hindi naman nila ginagawa ng ayos trabaho nila. Tapos magrereklamo pa sa mga natatanggap nilang "rewards". Ang weird. Never ko magegets mga taong big deal sa kanila pera, big deal in such a way na di na just.
e. EXTRA-CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES. Bes, akala ko sa high school ko lang to aayawan. Haha. Huling balita ko kasi, hinahire tayo para magtrabaho. Di naman ako nainform na mas may advantage ang may creative talent sa pinasukan ko. Ang lalakas ng loob mag request ng mga bagay dahil daw pagod sila sa mga practice or game or may sasalihan sila. Waw naman. Pano yung mga taong naiiwan nila sa shift, na nadodoble yung assigned sa kanilang work kasi yung shiftmate nila nagppractice ng sayaw, for the team nga naman daw. Hindi ba dapat sila mag-adjust? Or makuntento sa instructions kasi choice naman nila yon? At take note pre, may cash prize. As if naman makikinabang mga naiwan sa shift? And pag nakinabang sila, masama naman loob ng mga "nagpakahirap" daw. Bigla biglang wala sa shift kasi di naayos yung schedule ng mga practice before hand. Waw. Waw talaga. Sana sumali na lang sila sa mga talent contest. Hay.
f. Politics. Oh well.
(Inaantok na ko haha pero gusto ko na to tapusin)
3. Being shadow of someone.
That line, "So pinromote ka na din namin para pumayag si * i-promote siya. Next to her, ikaw naman na gusto nila." So, um thanks? I always felt that I being compared to her. It hurts me inside kasi siya best friend ko tapos I was just a shadow behind her. She's the kind (yes, kind lang. hindi kinder kasi i was not kind) version daw of me. She can handle every negative scenarios/emotion that we encounter/feel in proper. Of course, I admit always na mas magaling talaga siya sakin. So walang issue sakin kung better ang tingin nila sa kanya compared sakin. Pero I felt that they were expecting more of me, not because I need to improve myself but they are seeing those traits sa kanya. I love her so much na ayoko nang umiyak pa ulit dahil sa comparison na nararamdaman ko, it was a bad feeling since friends kame. It was not right.
4. Self.
Let's be honest here. I am not a people pleaser and have a history of being hated. I think toxic na both sides, sa kanial at sa'kin whenver they see me. It does not matter to them even you tried so much to reach out, once they hated you. Plastikan and I was not trained for that. Sometimes, whenever I treat them pizzas, it was because I felt something behind my back - and it felt not nice. I have to cheat myself by giving something to them then I would think that they like me to ease that part of me.
5. Makati.
Makati had been a place to be avoided for me. Hindi dahil sa malayo 'to from home, but it holds too much memories. Hurtful memories and people are lurking around that city.
6. Ego booster.
I was promoted almost every year and it was too toxic for me. Kaka-adjust ko pa lang, may bago nang responsibility. Di ko man lang nanamnam yung pagiging Senior. Di ko man lang napatunayan sarili ko enough para ipromote nila ako for OIC. They planted in my mind na magaling ako. Pero I am not. I failed almost everytime during college so I won't believe these people when they say magaling ako. Because I am not. I know my capabilities and I know my weaknesses more.
7. Career change.
This was the main reason why I resigned. Mula nung umpisa, I realized that it was not the job for me. I know what I want in life and it does not align with the Anti-fraud path. I thought of asking for a transfer sa Investigations team just to satisfy my thirst, pero wag na, mas prone sa pulitika pag nagtransfer ako. I want numbers and analysis, data and graphs. Everything that I am doing right now :)
Lastly, it is not one of the reasons actually why I left. Truth be told, he was one of the two reasons why I was able to endure working for them for three years and three months. Shempre, yung isa ay yung friends ko - Hello Aryan, Leslie and Glenn (Sige na nga, hi din kay K)! Haha.
He was more of the trigger point. The one who filled the bar. What happened during July 28 2016 was my sign I asked to give me a signal, so I submitted my resignation letter last August 6 2016.
Do I miss everyone there? Yes, even #2 and #4. Hahaha. No, I do not miss my everyday tasks there but I miss the times Aryan or I would ask the other to check her email before sending it to the bosses and cursing (me only, not Aryan haha) whenever we clean their inputs in our Excels and SharePoints, the overtime works, travelling to Makati everyday along EDSA with Glenn, going to Starbucks with Leslie, random ice cream nights with Ryan, everytime Ma'am Gj walks around asking how are we and our tasks, Ma'am Mhin being all sexy in months that I wished I had her discipline, "bullying" RC and Ma'am Selina, inom nights/days with Francis, Bambam, Edmon, Leo, Chill, JM and others, exchanging smiles with April, Marj and other girls, joking around with (maygad) Ecky, Sam, Marvin, Emil and Clyde, chismosang moments with Ms Jane, Jayem, Ms Erlyn and others, adult talks with Sir Melvin, and of course pang-aasar-kunware-crush-kita moments with Sir Dj. All those laughter, Fraud team, I miss them.
Tulad ng sinabi ko sa 3rd anniv IG post ko, "First love never dies." I will always love what I had with you, BTI. Yep, everytime I think of my dream job, nasasabi ko sarili kong nagsayang ako ng three years. Pero well, my emotions drive me, di ako nagsayang since nakakilala ako ng masasayang tao sa inyo. Diversed mga tao, pero kung tawa at tawa lang naman ang usapan, masaya naging memories ko. *sighs* Let's have the outro na, too keso na. Ew.
It's time for me to move on, for real. I guess, I will visit some of you, or pag malakas tama ko, will visit you in one of your quarterly parties (given na invited ako) Hahaha.
I miss you guys.
Work good (not hard, it is not healthy. someone please tell Leslie this one).
See you around.
I promised myself to write everything here once I have my new work after that. Why? Pang move on mechanism ko. Haha. Bitter? Nope. My real friends know that I suck in moving on. Actually, kahit di friends. Obvious kasi. But this is different. It was my decision to leave. It was my first time to choose to be someone who left.
Mahirap, shempre, kasi isip ko sa mga nang-iiwan, dapat never sila magrereklamo sa desisyon na ginawa nila. I guess it partially helped me na mataas din pride ko kaya (I believe) di rin halata na sometimes, I ask myself, tama ba ginawa ko?
What are the signs na tama ginawa ko? Well, honestly, I saw none. Almost.
Imagine, I had countless of job application rejections. It won't be hard naman to imagine that I was a loser like that. BTI kase, masyado pinataas tingin ko sa sarili ko. Hay. Pero I had to tell myself everyday that, "Everything will be alright. Tama ang ginawa mo."
I guess, nasasad lang ako pag nararamdaman ko ang yung effect niya financially. Yun Lang, honestly. Hello, wag na tayo magkalokohan, BTI is a very generous company. Kung gusto niyo ng malaking sweldo, apply kayo dun.
Anyway, why did I leave Bayview? I will try my best to enumerate everything.
1. Type of industry
Yan ang sinasabi ko laging reason sa mga inapplyan ko. Hello po so mga dati kong boss. Sorry. Di ko nasabi yon sa resignation letter or sa kahit anong exit interview na ginawa sakin. Sorry Ms Klarisse, Sir Dj, Ma'am Gj and Ma'am Sunny.
That reason alone, I guess, wala nang pilitang mangyayari. Nakasakit pa ko. Disclaimer ko lagi na wala akong anything against people who are working under that industry. Kanya kanyang pananaw or trip sa buhay. Actually, tinatanong siya sa job interview ng BTI. Nagka-spark lang siya nung tinanong siya sakin. Alanganin ako that time, pero never kong naisip na may bearing pala yon. Hindi siya masyado big deal sakin until..
First sem ng 2016-2017. Since second sem ako ng previous academic year nagstart, walang orientation offered sa mga new students, so nun lang ako naka-attend. Then, we were asked to tell our names, program and affiliation. Everyone of them are working for schools or government. I was the only one affiliated with that kind of industry. And I felt ashamed. What on earth do I positively contribute to people? To the society? I heard a bell inside me. Yes, issue siya sakin nung mga huling buwan. And everytime I hear "Hindi to ang trabaho para sa atin" during the time I still work for them, wala lang. Nagkaron lang ng weight nung orientation na yon. I don't expect everyone will understand me on this.
2. The workmates, the incompetent ones.
(I think I will be harsh in this part)Napagod ako. Sa kanila.
a. Iilan lang ang nakakasunod sa simpleng instruction na ayusin ang pagfill up sa mga Excel files or SharePoint sheets. Hindi ko alam kung may kinalaman ang courses or schools nila, pero it was just a f'cking simple instruction. Di ko magets ano mahirap don.
b. Shempre hindi lang yon, their emails? Hindi ba automatic na inaayos ang wordings, ang aesthetic at ang content ng mga email bago isend? Pano ka gaganahang magbasa ng email or report kung yung mga tables, hindi maayos tignan, yung mga font iba-iba kulay - halatang copy paste from their previously sent ones, yung mga subject hindi sunod sa email subject na ini-instruct para madali malocate or mahanap. Bakit hindi nila magawa yon?
c. Unprofessional. Oh well, I am actually not the one to tell something about it kasi yung curses ko sa office malala. So, I am talking about being responsible. Aabsent kasi may hangover? Sick leave kase may lakad bigla? Waw naman.
d. Hindi dedicated. Hindi ko alam pano nila nasisikmurang sumweldo ng hindi naman nila ginagawa ng ayos trabaho nila. Tapos magrereklamo pa sa mga natatanggap nilang "rewards". Ang weird. Never ko magegets mga taong big deal sa kanila pera, big deal in such a way na di na just.
e. EXTRA-CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES. Bes, akala ko sa high school ko lang to aayawan. Haha. Huling balita ko kasi, hinahire tayo para magtrabaho. Di naman ako nainform na mas may advantage ang may creative talent sa pinasukan ko. Ang lalakas ng loob mag request ng mga bagay dahil daw pagod sila sa mga practice or game or may sasalihan sila. Waw naman. Pano yung mga taong naiiwan nila sa shift, na nadodoble yung assigned sa kanilang work kasi yung shiftmate nila nagppractice ng sayaw, for the team nga naman daw. Hindi ba dapat sila mag-adjust? Or makuntento sa instructions kasi choice naman nila yon? At take note pre, may cash prize. As if naman makikinabang mga naiwan sa shift? And pag nakinabang sila, masama naman loob ng mga "nagpakahirap" daw. Bigla biglang wala sa shift kasi di naayos yung schedule ng mga practice before hand. Waw. Waw talaga. Sana sumali na lang sila sa mga talent contest. Hay.
f. Politics. Oh well.
3. Being shadow of someone.
That line, "So pinromote ka na din namin para pumayag si * i-promote siya. Next to her, ikaw naman na gusto nila." So, um thanks? I always felt that I being compared to her. It hurts me inside kasi siya best friend ko tapos I was just a shadow behind her. She's the kind (yes, kind lang. hindi kinder kasi i was not kind) version daw of me. She can handle every negative scenarios/emotion that we encounter/feel in proper. Of course, I admit always na mas magaling talaga siya sakin. So walang issue sakin kung better ang tingin nila sa kanya compared sakin. Pero I felt that they were expecting more of me, not because I need to improve myself but they are seeing those traits sa kanya. I love her so much na ayoko nang umiyak pa ulit dahil sa comparison na nararamdaman ko, it was a bad feeling since friends kame. It was not right.
4. Self.
Let's be honest here. I am not a people pleaser and have a history of being hated. I think toxic na both sides, sa kanial at sa'kin whenver they see me. It does not matter to them even you tried so much to reach out, once they hated you. Plastikan and I was not trained for that. Sometimes, whenever I treat them pizzas, it was because I felt something behind my back - and it felt not nice. I have to cheat myself by giving something to them then I would think that they like me to ease that part of me.
5. Makati.
Makati had been a place to be avoided for me. Hindi dahil sa malayo 'to from home, but it holds too much memories. Hurtful memories and people are lurking around that city.
6. Ego booster.
I was promoted almost every year and it was too toxic for me. Kaka-adjust ko pa lang, may bago nang responsibility. Di ko man lang nanamnam yung pagiging Senior. Di ko man lang napatunayan sarili ko enough para ipromote nila ako for OIC. They planted in my mind na magaling ako. Pero I am not. I failed almost everytime during college so I won't believe these people when they say magaling ako. Because I am not. I know my capabilities and I know my weaknesses more.
7. Career change.
This was the main reason why I resigned. Mula nung umpisa, I realized that it was not the job for me. I know what I want in life and it does not align with the Anti-fraud path. I thought of asking for a transfer sa Investigations team just to satisfy my thirst, pero wag na, mas prone sa pulitika pag nagtransfer ako. I want numbers and analysis, data and graphs. Everything that I am doing right now :)
Lastly, it is not one of the reasons actually why I left. Truth be told, he was one of the two reasons why I was able to endure working for them for three years and three months. Shempre, yung isa ay yung friends ko - Hello Aryan, Leslie and Glenn (Sige na nga, hi din kay K)! Haha.
He was more of the trigger point. The one who filled the bar. What happened during July 28 2016 was my sign I asked to give me a signal, so I submitted my resignation letter last August 6 2016.
Do I miss everyone there? Yes, even #2 and #4. Hahaha. No, I do not miss my everyday tasks there but I miss the times Aryan or I would ask the other to check her email before sending it to the bosses and cursing (me only, not Aryan haha) whenever we clean their inputs in our Excels and SharePoints, the overtime works, travelling to Makati everyday along EDSA with Glenn, going to Starbucks with Leslie, random ice cream nights with Ryan, everytime Ma'am Gj walks around asking how are we and our tasks, Ma'am Mhin being all sexy in months that I wished I had her discipline, "bullying" RC and Ma'am Selina, inom nights/days with Francis, Bambam, Edmon, Leo, Chill, JM and others, exchanging smiles with April, Marj and other girls, joking around with (maygad) Ecky, Sam, Marvin, Emil and Clyde, chismosang moments with Ms Jane, Jayem, Ms Erlyn and others, adult talks with Sir Melvin, and of course pang-aasar-kunware-crush-kita moments with Sir Dj. All those laughter, Fraud team, I miss them.
Tulad ng sinabi ko sa 3rd anniv IG post ko, "First love never dies." I will always love what I had with you, BTI. Yep, everytime I think of my dream job, nasasabi ko sarili kong nagsayang ako ng three years. Pero well, my emotions drive me, di ako nagsayang since nakakilala ako ng masasayang tao sa inyo. Diversed mga tao, pero kung tawa at tawa lang naman ang usapan, masaya naging memories ko. *sighs* Let's have the outro na, too keso na. Ew.
It's time for me to move on, for real. I guess, I will visit some of you, or pag malakas tama ko, will visit you in one of your quarterly parties (given na invited ako) Hahaha.
I miss you guys.
Work good (not hard, it is not healthy. someone please tell Leslie this one).
See you around.