A Regret and Much of Dreams.

Well, I am writing here once again. I just want to pour off these unorganized thoughts.

Don't get me wrong. I am not sad now. I am fine. Or so I think.

College life is over. But I still don't know what I want to happen next. I thought I would be much excited about having a job so I would be able to give Nanay money. I still wanted to help but I have no.. Err. Confidence? Some close friends say that I lack self-esteem. I don't know what will I do with that. I can't trust anyone, even myself. Sad life, isn't it? I do not know if I could perform well for companies. I am scared.

I want to have MS degree now. Hmm.. Though I am still not sure of that. Maybe I'll just miss jotting down notes or listening to someone who I know is much intelligent than me. I know deep inside me that I can be a good leader, but some part of me hinders me and tells me to just follow.

Sometime at a Bloc Meeting during my NF days, we are asked what we wanted to write on our gravestones. And I wrote, "Lived with no regrets." From that time, I tried my best to live and to have no regrets with every decision I made until I chose to graduate without honors. Nalungkot ako na wala akong maibigay na medal kanila Nanay.

There, I am sad. But I am fine.

Well, life must go on. This is the beginning, I'll reach for my dreams for them. I want to. I will.